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Women and Children First?

Written by T.I. Cruiser on April 13, 2012 · Leave a Comment

Does the old adage “women and children first”, still hold true. Well, according to a couple of researchers from Sweden, it never did in the first place. Economists Mikael Elinder and Oscar Erixon of Uppsala University (Uppsala, Sweden) recently conducted a study dispelling the saying as a “myth”. According to their report the truth is that in the event of a ship going down men, have had a much higher instance of survival than either women or children. In fact, you could say their data is the complete opposite of what we all have been led to believe.

Every Man for Himself

The two researchers have put together an 82 page report which breaks down 18 of the world’s most tragic maritime accidents. They have found by analyzing the logs of those ships and the lists of each ship’s passengers and survivors that the gap in survival rates not only favors men but it isn’t even that close.

Those 18 maritime disasters account for over 15,000 deaths at sea. When you break down the numbers into categories the findings end up being a bit surprising. On a percentage basis only 17.8 percent of the survivors of those disasters end up being women while nearly twice as many men survive (34.5 percent). This is a complete contradiction to what happened onboard the RMS Titanic where 73 percent of the women survived. However, when citing the Titanic data, one must mention that fact that the Captain not only gave the “women and children first” order but also threatened to shoot anyone who did not comply; definitely not the standard muster procedure. One of several odd facts in the study makes reference to there being no female survivors in three of the shipwrecks.

The Captain Must Go Down With the Ship

If I had to reference one point that definitely took me by surprise it’s the number of officers that safely make it off the ship. While we all know Captain Edward Smith of the Titanic did go down with his ship, we were led to believe Captain Schettino (the scum bag that he appears to be) was drastically veering away from protocol by leaving the Costa Concordia. The truth is the crew fleeing the ship before all of the passengers are offloaded isn’t all that rare. Captains and crew are shown to be 18.7 percentage points more likely to survive these sorts of maritime catastrophes than the ships passengers. That isn’t to say the Captain and crew just abandon their passengers in a Schettino-like fashion. When everything has been done, that can be done; abandoning the ship may be the only course of action that makes sense.

It’s funny how something as idyllic as a phrase can trick us into believing there is some sort of protocol that is followed when a ship starts to go down; especially when the data actually gets examined. In the end I guess it all comes down to one thing, survival of the fittest. The reason the crew sits at the top of the survival pyramid is they are infinitely better prepared. In the event of an accident, when the “ship” hits the fan they know the fastest route to the nearest lifeboats. The next tier on the survival pyramid belong to the men who undoubtedly use their superior physical strength to make sure they survive; while the women and children are stuck at the base and left to fend for themselves.

Now I would like to believe if I were on a ship that started to go down, I would behave chivalrously but I hope to never put that theory to the test. How do you feel about the evacuation protocol? In the event of a cruise ship disaster do you think “women and children first” can be observed?

Carnival Cruise Lines Tells Passengers to Tip More

Written by T.I. Cruiser on November 2, 2011 · 2 Comments

Those of you planning to sail on Carnival Cruise Lines in the future may be in for a little surprise. An announcement has been made that Carnival Cruise Lines has increased the suggested amount they would like passengers to tip by about 15 percent. Starting with passengers departing on or after December 1 Carnival will be asking passengers to pay $11.50 per person, per day; a raise of $1.50 per person per day.

While its not much an increase, no one likes a surprise that results in having to spend more money (even a paltry $10.50 per seven day cruise). At least this increase won’t affect those passengers who have prepaid their gratuities for sailings occurring beyond the December 1^st start date. Of course Carnival didn’t notify those passengers already booked on this cruises who hadn’t already pre-paid their gratuities, meaning they will need to pay the new amount. Great job Carnival, even though most people don’t need one you just gave people a reason to complain.

While no one likes to pay more for anything, personally I’m not ready to lambast Carnival for this move since they haven’t raised the auto-tip amount since 2001. It also seems that we have been getting a bargain for years since Carnival had been suggesting $10 per person per day compared to the $11.50+ that was being done on competing cruise lines.

Where does the new money go?

This increase should mean a raise for the cruise ship staff, but will it? I am skeptical of the extent to which these new monies will make it into the hands of the staff that I am used to tipping. With the old policy I knew exactly where my money was going; $5.50 for the headwaiter/waiter, $3.50 to the cabin steward and $1 for the assistant waiter/cooks. The new breakdown of how tips are split up and handed out isn’t quite as good. The new guidelines are as follows; $5.80 for dining room services, $3.70 to cabin services and $2 for alternative services. What the hell does, “alternative services” mean? When I desire for the Maitre D to receive a tip, I hand him one. I don’t need the cruise line slipping him any of my money if I don’t deem it necessary. The Maitre D may be a jerk and jerks don’t deserve tips (we all have rules we live by).

According to Carnival, alternative services can include unspecified members of kitchen, entertainment, guest services and members of hotel staff. Now, although it seems as if we are being kept in the dark on who is getting the extra it seems that “alternative services” is an umbrella large enough to fit anything from the guy who fixes the ice-maker to standoffish Romanian dancer who scowls as she sells bingo tickets. For all I know I could be pitching in for a private jet for John Heald. I’m not saying these people don’t deserve a raise or that John Heald shouldn’t have a private jet, My skepticism stems from not necessarily agreeing on where that money should come.

In the past I usually tipped a bit extra to those who I felt went above and beyond. Now, even with the increase if I want to make sure those people actually get taken care of I will still need to give them an additional tip. Although I am sure nothing is amiss, it just seems like communication could have been handled much better than the effort Carnival has put in. If I am being asked to tip I should be permitted to know exactly who the party is on the receiving end of that tip.

What can I do if I am against Carnival’s new suggested tipping guidelines?

If for some reason you are a member of that group of passengers so vehemently against this increase, you do have an option. Remember any passenger who wants to adjust the auto-tipping amount can have this done at the purser’s desk. So if it really bothers you, you could just turn the auto-tip off and cash tip any amount you see fit. It’s not an avenue I would personally recommend since there have been reports on some cruise lines of workers seeing the list of people who removed tipping and one should never risk upsetting the person that handles their food. Besides, the potential for abuse with people removing the auto-tip and not tipping at all is too great. That would be an even bigger crime than Carnival slipping in the increase under the cover of darkness.

Cruise Ship Etiquette: Buffet Etiquette

Written by T.I. Cruiser on November 1, 2011 · Leave a Comment

When you think about it, cruise ships really are the most unique of vacation environments possible. No other vacation option confines you in a defined space with people whom you have absolutely no connection. Sure, when at a hotel or all-inclusive resort you are sharing space with strangers but with both of those options there isn’t anything keeping you from leaving at any time you choose. When on a cruise once you leave the dock, unless you are one hell of a swimmer you have no choice but to coexist with strangers, both perfect and imperfect.

While these recommendations on how to conduct yourself while at the buffet are pretty detailed they are far from comprehensive. There are so many other rules of cruise buffet etiquette that it would be Due to this need to “get-along” with your fellow passengers certain rules of etiquette need to be observed. These rules I speak of are quite numerous and could probably fill a book, one that I am not qualified to author. However, there are certain rules of etiquette that I feel perfectly comfortable speaking about. Most of the breaches of etiquette basically come down to common sense being displaced by feelings of entitlement mixed with lapses of judgment. After all, you paid for the vacation so you can do whatever you want, right? Wrong! Unfortunately many people do feel that their, right to do as they wish, supersede the best interests of everyone else on board the cruise ship. For this reason I will occasionally be writing an article reminding everyone of their manners.

Conducting Yourself at the Lido Deck Buffet

If a scientific poll was conducted asking “what is the number 1 activity to do on a cruise ship”, eating would win in a landslide. While many don’t consider eating an activity, judging by the way it happens on cruise ships, I beg to differ. In fact, over the course of my many cruises I would say some passengers have managed to elevate eating well past the “activity” level, to full blown competition status. Now I won’t begrudge anyone for doing what makes them happy especially since I myself have a weakness for well-prepared fish and chips, my motto is if it’s not affecting anyone else, knock yourself out. The problem is all too often at the buffet, one passengers behavior is affecting the other cruise ship passengers.

To be as frank as possible, far too many of us have no idea how to conduct ourselves at the buffet. So, I have decided to make a list of “rules” we all should follow when dining at a cruise ship buffet:

Preparation for the Cruise Ship Buffet

Always without fail wash your hands before arriving at the buffet. It is not only your responsibility, but also your duty to scrub your hands as thoroughly as humanly possible. When standing at the sink you should pretend to be a surgeon prepping.

Grab the first plate and silverware you touch. Even though your hands should be clean no one wants to use eating utensils that you just got done fondling. Even if you aren’t showing any signs of being sick it doesn’t mean you aren’t carrying some bug.

When entering a buffet line it is rarely acceptable to save someone a spot. If you are with a large group make a choice to go together or separately, but make the choice and stick to it. The rare exception to this rule can be made when traveling with someone elderly or disabled. When I say disabled I mean actually disabled not like the people that park in the front spaces at my grocery store.

When in a group one person should volunteer to hold the table while the others go grab the food. You are on a moving ship not at a Grateful Dead concert. Although most ships don’t rock very much it’s still not a good idea to circle around the buffet area carrying hot food, possibly creating a slip and fall situation if something spills. Not to mention the traffic flow problems created by that group of 10 circling against the traffic flow looking for a “good” spot.

Many buffets have hand sanitizer at the entrance, use it. Even if you have washed your hands it still is a good idea to use the sanitizer provided.

Once in the Cruise Ship Buffet line

Never touch anything with your hands. Although we all applaud your efforts at cleaning your hands as thoroughly possible before entering the buffet line, using your hands to serve food is just gross. Not mention unless you boiled them you probably are carrying some germ that no one else wants.

At the buffet every item has one or more utensils designated for use with that particular item, don’t cross contaminate. Never use the utensils from one item to pick up a different type of item. For all you know, the next person in line could be allergic to the dish those tongs were actually meant to serve. Always put the serving utensils back in its correct place.

Never eat at the buffet line. If you can’t decide whether or not want a particular item take a small portion to see if it’s something you want. While I hate wasting food I’d rather you throw some away than taste it while standing in the buffet line. Believe it or not I have actually seen someone taste something right out of the serving tray.

Don’t pick through the food. If there is lobster paella on the menu don’t stand there for five minutes hoarding as many pieces of lobster as possible. Its rude, clogs the line and throws off the balance for everyone else, you end up with 2 pounds of lobster and everyone else gets rice.

Although there is no way to un-grossify this next suggestion, let’s give it a shot. If you have to sneeze or cough while in line for the buffet please, please turn away from not only the food but the other passengers in line. If you feel it coming early enough feel free to leave your tray on the counter and step out of line to sneeze. Also remember to sneeze into the crook of your arm and not your hands.

Once you select something, it is yours. Never claim something and then put it back if you decided against it later.

Of course, one of the main draws of the buffet is the ability to go back for seconds, thirds and nineteenths if you choose, it’s the all you can eat portion of the equation. Just remember when you go back for subsequent servings, never use the same plate. Just leave the empty one at the table and get a fresh one to use. The same goes for cups at the drink station, never refill the same one.

Never stop, wait or linger, choose fast and keep it moving. There are passengers behind you that are trying to get something to eat. It’s great that you just spotted your dining room waiter doing his “day job” but the middle of a buffet line is not the place to talk about what you did in port today.

When Finished Eating at the Buffet

Get up and leave when you are done, don’t linger. While the buffet area does seat a lot of passengers, they are not designed to handle the full capacity of the ship. At peak times during the day seating does become scarce, it’s unavoidable. If you decide to hang around the buffet area to read or play around on your laptop you should at least move to an area that wouldn’t be considered prime real estate, such as a back-corner or second level table.

So as you can see most if not all of these etiquette violations are the result of a temporary lack of common sense more so than any deliberate behavior. I don’t think anyone would stand in a buffet line and sneeze on food or deliberately cause a traffic jam during the dinner rush, but sometimes we all need a reminder. Everything I listed was something I had seen within the last year so even though they are just common sense they are still happening. What violations of Cruise Ship Buffet Etiquette have you noticed on your cruises?